Happy 2010 Kids!  Another year closer to December 2012.  Start your preparations!  Unlock the Y2K bunker you never used!

I must say 2009 was an interesting year.  Lots of good, lots of bad, lots of so-so, but you know what?  This new decade is gonna kick 2009 in the ass, I think.  I have high expectations for this year, so don’t fudge it up!

As keeping with tradition of New Year’s resolutions, I plan to have one of my resolutions be to post here more.  While I cannot guarantee I won’t continue to suck at posting here, I will at least say that I’ll try, mmmkay?  Ok good, now quit yer bitchin’.

As for other resolutions, we’ll be tryin’ the ol’ getting in shape and eating better resolution (that one is probably the most popular and most cliche one ever!) plus my business is growing and things are going well in the relationship department as well.

Ok, enough of that boring crap.  In the great words of Tiger Woods as his wife chased him with a golf club, I’M OUTTA HERE!

May you enjoy this day with your family and friends.  I will be sitting here…. alone…. homeless…. with my laptop…. in my Lexus…. enjoying a bottle of alcoholic egg nog….

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I’m thankful for all of you, my dear readers.  Those of you who put up with my crappy posts, my slow post times, and my bad humor.

I bet you are all thankful that you don’t really know me in person and hope that the apocalypse happens to this site before it affects anything else in the world.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

LET’S EAT TURKEY!

Once again, I, the great Jabloggy Nuts, have gone missing in action.  Have no fear, I was just kidnapped by Santa!

Allow me to explain.  My last post was in October, almost 2 months ago *crowd booes*.  Since then I’ve survived Halloween, picked up a new significant other (let’s call her Girloggy), established a website dedicated to the new Microsoft Stores modeled after People of Wal-Mart, decorated my home for Christmas, and established 2 new Christmas websites that will be a part of the 2009 version of the Santa Live iPhone app.  The app now has a Google Android brother too.

So yeah, was I kidnapped by Santa?  Not really I guess.  I just kinda took on his identity because I have no social interaction with real humans anymore.  I feel as real friends-less and web-based as iJustine (you rock iJ! … nice save asshole).

It’s been quite the past couple of months, but it’s been fun, for the better, and looking forward to what those changes bring for me during the rest of the year and into 2010.

2010…. mmmm, that reminds me…. only 2 years left until the end of the world.  Better start digging my bomb shelter and stock piling food again (it all went bad after Y2K).  You really think we have any idea when the world is gonna end?  My theory for the Mayan calendar is that the retard that invented it either figured that humans wouldn’t last this long on earth or he just got sick and tired of adding years and gave up at this point.  We have our own calendar now, regardless if it’s based on theirs or not.  I think ours continues forever.  Sooooooooo, yeah……

If you know the show that quote is from, then I don’t have to educate or corrupt your minds.  To me, that quote signifies the beginning of the annual traditions where we either drink too much and destroy our alter-ego attire (costume, for those of you dumbfounded by my attempts of superior terminology, or lack thereof), or run around familiar and strange neighborhoods, talking to strangers (despite what we are taught at that age about NOT talking to strangers) and receiving free food from those strangers (at their own homes, making it easier for them to abduct several children at once) that will ultimately destroy our teeth and affect all personal hygiene.

To break that last paragraph of shit down even further, I welcome you all to the 2009 holiday season.  We kick of this year’s festivities like any other year, with Halloween.  While the true origins of this bizarre holiday are not 100% known, I personally believe it was a holiday that was conceived by pedophiles and axe murderers that somehow managed to convince our planet’s leaders and lawmakers to find it in their hearts that the world needed a holiday to celebrate psychos, homicidal freaks and Kanye West.

Before I go, I want to ask a favor of the Jabloggy community.  What do you think is the better costume for me this year: Kanye West (and get the shits beaten outta me) or a Mistletoe (and potentially get mouth-raped by every female downtown)?  TOUGH CALL!

Tis been awhile no?

Summer is coming to a close, way too soon I might add.  Please hold while I curse the season out for being too short ($#$#$@!!).

4 days ago I officially became another year older.  Yay.  3 years until I hit 30.  Could this aging thing get any better?!  I elect that it can not!  *gag*

Summer’s been a busy one, whether I’m helping with a music event or playing in the band at our own music event; whether I’m painting my house or listing lazily to the left on my couch watching Family Guy; whether I’m at my day job or working on Local Sounds; whether I’m working at all or out enjoy time with my friends.  Yup, it’s been a good one.

As August starts to come to a close, I’m reminded of the great No One, who said, “Fear not, for the summer isn’t over quite yet.  We have Labor Day weekend, Taste of Madison, and a few several weekends of good weather left!”.  Then I realized it was I who said that and can no longer be quoted as quoting someone else’s quote.

While it is a good thing to think that we still have a good number of Summer / Beginning of Fall days in which yet to enjoyth, we are also just over 2 months away from that time of the year when our little ones dress up like the undead in order to collect that which kills us anyway: sugar-filled treats and those moronic apples on a stick covered in something that’s totally unidentifiable.

Yes parents, Halloween, that glorious holiday in which our children become the living Apocalypse, is drawing nearer.  Why do I say that?  Well for one, the stupid Halloween store in Madison has had it’s sign up for a month already as they prepare the store for shoppers.  I almost shat myself when I saw that a few weeks ago.  As if it isn’t bad enough that Christmas comes earlier every year (and for those of you who know me, you know I don’t care about that as much as I may make it sound), now Halloween is moving up.

What the hell happened to the Back to School season?  I do believe it was eaten by a werewolf, little Bobby.

On that note, I now know what I want to go as for Halloween: a Wannabe-Good-Blogger.  Scares the living shizzle outta me, but hey, that’s what October 31st is for right?  Or is it?  (Enter Vincent Price’s post Thriller video monologue here)

The birthday girl is 5 years old!

Originally uploaded by jabloggy

That’s right folks, this week is National Lexi Week! My fuzzy lil’ daughter turns 5 and we’re celebrating! The celebration consists mainly of balloons, streamers, a cake, and her taking extra long naps and playing with string. Oh to be a cat! Life, so simple!

So everyone, please join me in saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEXI!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas all you Jabloggy nuts!  All this week I am being held prisoner at my parents’ house as we celebrate Christmas and pay homage to the Wii gods.  Yes, mii family has become Wii addicts and require that I bring my Wii with mii every year from this point on.  I don’t have much of a choice, otherwise they will kill mii!

As of right now, my aunt from Las Vegas is attempting to defend her Wii bowling title against my recently addicted girlfriend.  Both are attempting to maintain a better score than my girlfriend’s 5-year old daughter as well.  What has this world come to?!  Before family Christmases were a joyous occasion.  Now everyone wants to cut each other’s Mii heads off with a Wiimote.  All holiday hell is breaking loose!

So I’m a little late with this post, but I’ve been meaning to write about my Thanksgiving break.  Here we go.  Come along with me….

So over Thanksgiving break we did the usual family turkey meal on Thursday.  On Friday we attended the local tree lighting ceremony for all of the Christmas decorations around town.  This year they had several famous characters there for the kids, including Mickey and Minnie Mouse, the Grinch, a couple of reindeer, Frosty the Snowman and his wife, a couple of gingerbread men, and Shrek, just to name a few.  

Now this might sound not very exciting and overall pretty normal, however let me give you the run down on the Wisconsin Rapids version of these characters.  Just a heads up to my readers with weak stomaches and are easy laughers: this might be a little graphic and will probably make my dad cry with laughter.

Overall, all the character costumes were pretty pathetic.  My favorite characters were the reindeer and the gingerbread men.  The reindeer were wearing homeless-looking tennis shoes and had a pet dog.  Whoever heard of reindeer with a pet dog?  And if you thought that was strange, these reindeer were huddling together off away from the crowds next to a building.  We have reason to believe these guys were dealing some good stuff.  What evidence do I have of that?  Well, the gingerbread men appeared to be quite baked, the grinch wasn’t walking a straight line and scaring little kids, and the snowmen were way too friendly.  In summary, it was one of the most hilarious and saddest moments of my Christmas season this year.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Thursday, December 11th my mom, grandma, girlfriend and I made our annual trip to see the phenomenon known as the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  As usual, my annual response to the show: HOLY SHITTER NUGGETS.  Even though it remains pretty much the same with a few changes and new toys here and there, it always gets me as one of the best shows on the planet.  

If you have never seen TSO, I strongly recommend it.  If you don’t like to take recommendations from little known bloggests, then it’s your loss and I pity you foo.